I am procrastinating

As I mentioned already... I am procrastinating. on basically everything, including but not limited to:

I think it says something about me as a person that i kind of prioritized the many tumblr blogs i have instead of exams and books. sigh I guess

So anyway, I recently (2 weeks ago more like) watched both 'searching for a world that doesnt exist' and its sequel by wifies. Before I watched it I saw a lot of fanart and it was like... look its the green guy and the knight. oh its them again. Then someone posted fanart of Goggles and Rider as Avery and Derek. and then I saw this one small comic that I really liked and it kinda drove me to watch it. so then I did and um immediately started doodling small d3rlord3 over and over. then i made an ask blog for him and i called him d3rvoid3 beaacsue his head is a void. All of a sudden I'm scared of putting this on my site because I'm 17 and like. why am I still this way???? As in like. IDK childish? wait one more thing I forgot to add to the procrastination list is actually fixing up this site. I never really make time to just learn coding anymore... :(

Today we got our book essays from our last course back. I already knew mine sucked and I didn't wanna look at the corrections. The teacher is nice and from the small bit i remember about a comment, she wasn't being mean about it. But for some reason my mind immediately translates all comments = threats. well, those ones that fix mistakes, anyway. oh wait i mean criticism and critique and constructive criticism. they scare me and I avoid looking at checked work and exams whenever possible. I've pretty mmuch always been on the more sensitive and/or emotional(?) side idk. I should really work on that. yet anotehr thing i'm procrastinating on...

back to d3rlord3. okay so. He and Rider are friends in my mind, like in a setting where rider plays splatoon and his inkling looks exactly like him in the manga. oh, and his name would be spelled Ryder I think. anyway he and derek could be roommates and i could use this as a way to make up a happy ending au thing. Avery to me is younger than derek and ryder, mostly it comes from a fanfic I read where Avery and Derek are brothers, Avery being younger. It was really heartwarming to read and by far one of my favorite fics

speaking of fanfic....... I have a handful of wips so like. one more thing im procrastinating on lmao. my most recent one is about Rider thinking he has feelings for Goggles..... turns out he's experiencing having a friend, not romantic feelings. ok? and gogles is aroace in this whatever. I'd tell more but i dont feel like itttt. highkey I've been thinking about that premise for a while, especially with how I never really see these two depicted as anything but a ship. I'm also kinda pissed that so much discussion on coroika tumblr revolves around shipping? or uh. I feel I might be blowing it out of proportion but idk. I'm tired of romantic relationships in fandom honestly. It's even worse with Avery and Derek but I'm kinda mostly ignoring it. Sorry for any shippers reading this. Obviously i can't force everyone to stop shipping. What am i saying even. uh. this isn't aimed at anyone in particular it just feels so repetetive somehow.? sorry

Tomodachi life still hasn't showed up in my library. I mean, it's there because I can clearly see that from the info page but they haven't finished setting up the... important stuff I guess. it's not much of a problem though, I'm fine with waiting. Thankfully I was the second person to make a reservation so I'll be getting it sooner than the other ppl after me who reserved it!!11!!! theres over 30 reservations lel. this isn't really interesting so IDK why im writing about it here but eh

um... let's try ending this on a positive note.......... ok so. I have friends...!!! at least 2!!! maybe 3!! as in friends i keep in contact with regularily! it sounds incredibly pathetic when I write that out but having been pretty alone and feeling like an outsider for a long while, I'm really happy I've got people I can feel comfortable around and who don't seem like they find me the weirdest thing on the planet. granted, there is NO way I'm talking about fandom things and media I like with them-- but honestly, that's all fine by me. We talk anyway about other things and experiences and it feels really nice to kind of belong somewhere. I appreciate them a lot and I'm so thankful I have them! ^v^